Always see “real women” posts so here’s one for the dudes.
this says so much. I wish there were more posts like this. please.
body positivity and realistic body standards are important for guys too!
Men are constantly reassured that it’s okay to oogle women and harrass them about their looks. Women rarely see sexualized images of men that are made for women.
Guys get eye candy everywhere they go. Their sexual gaze is constantly catered to. Women, at least hetero women, are rarely given the opportunity to have their sexual interest entertained. We’re told that we should be okay with having nothing to look at. That our fantasies don’t matter. That we shouldn’t ever even remotely expect to be able to eyeball a svelte man in public, only behind closed doors and heaven forbid that the man look vulnerable. So we finally get to see images that turn us on and people are like, “Hey, you can’t put that in magazines! that might hurt some little boy’s feelings!”
Men are given alternative physical images to aspire to. Women are not.
While yes, guys should be treated to body positivity too… they already are. Just watch TV or any comedy and count the number of pudgy, out of shape, male leads vs pudgy, out of shape female leads. Or the number of hairy, overweight, older men making block buster movies vs the number of hairy, overweight, older women. Now count how many times that male character has some incredibly smart, sexy wife who does everything for him. And then how many times she’s the butt of the joke when he gets hot for some woman who’s younger and thinner than she is.
Fuck, just look at the responses to women not shaving their legs vs the responses to guys not shaving off their stubble.
Name six movies about a woman above the age of forty who’s love interest is a man that’s younger than she is where the plot doesn’t revolve around her being the butt of a cougar or mom joke. Now name me six where a man over the age of forty’s love interest is a woman who’s significantly younger than he is. Bonus points for action movies where anyone in the movie makes a mention of the age difference.
How many times are male politician or CEO’s body or style of dress put into question? How many times are female’s? Or has everyone forgotten how we flip out when the president’s wife gets a new hair cut? Or how Hillary Clinton had to have a FUCKING MAKE OVER before the news agencies took her seriously? How many times was her daughter raked over the coals for looking like an average teenager?
What’s more, I’ve never heard any of my female friends or my mother and her female friends saying, “Why can’t my 50 year old husband get a six pack like that?” What I USUALLY here is “I wish my husband would get a nice hair cut.” or “I wish he’d wear some nicer clothes that actually fit him.”
But what i hear overhear men saying all time is, “No fat chicks!” or “I wish my wife had bigger boobs.”
I know a woman who’s husband threatened to leave her if she didn’t get a face lift and a boob job- she was so upset that she did it. She felt disgusting every day because she wasn’t a size six and he expected her to be a size six after bearing him four kids. My own uncle said if his wife got overweight that he’d drag her behind a car until she lost weight. These aren’t even “bad guys”! They seem like perfectly nice men when you meet them! But they’re taught from the moment they’re kids that all women need to be a certain body type to be worthy of any attention.
Men are told through our culture’s stories and media that a woman will still love them unconditionally and throw themselves at them if they’re fat, old, balding, or an asshole, while women are told that if they’re pushy, fat, old or wearing out of style clothes that they aren’t even worth mentioning.
"How the Media Failed Women in 2013," courtesy of Miss Representation. This is mind-boggling and you must watch it right now.
The general (shitty) argument that goes around - seriously it’s like a bad penny, it keeps turning up - is that somehow, Brubaker’s (mis)handling of Natasha’s brainwashing at the end of Black Widow Hunt somehow invalidates all the work he did as a writer in establishing her as a power player in Captain America, Volume 5.
Additionally, and grossly, of course, the addendum to this is almost always some variation of the accusation that Natasha existed in Winter Soldier (and Captain America) only as a sex object, to fuel Bucky’s mangst (and sometimes, even to make him ~look cool, considering the weakest Brubaker critic will always fall back on ol’ faithful, i.e. Bucky is Brubaker’s self-insert).
All I’m saying is that this argument - that Natasha is somehow a weaker character because of her relationship with Bucky, that her relationship with him somehow precludes her from also being a major player in the narrative is weak shit.
Who did Tony Stark send to retrieve Captain America’s shield, arguably the most important errand he had following Steve’s assassination?
Who fed Sam and Bucky information on AIM and Zola, and ultimately procured the location of the warehouse Sharon was being held captive?
Who was the only person Bucky would listen to when it came down to taking the cowl, the only person who could talk him off the roof and into the fray, the only person who could convince him he wouldn’t fuck it up?
And who, invariably, was there to come up with a better plan, always?
The insinuation that Natasha’s relationship with Bucky somehow lessens her strength as a warrior, or invalidates her importance to the story, is nothing but a sexist, phallocentric misreading of the story. It’s sensational and wanky at best, and complete, glaring evidence of the disadvantage of female comics characters at worst.
The fact that Natasha was in love, that she was shown to be domestic, caring and happy does not make her a damsel, or a fucktoy, or a plot device. It makes her human. And god forbid any women are one of those, right?
The incredibly talented and super smart Evan Rachel Wood called out the MPAA on their misogynistic, sexist crap after seeing the new cut of her movie and she ain’t wrong.
i wish i could reblog this every day until the universe gets it
and i wish one of these existed for race and orientation as well, but *i can’t even imagine* how much worse the stats get from here on down.
repeat after me:
- virginity is a social construct
- you don’t lose your virginity
- there’s nothing valuable or precious about virginity, it’s an imaginary concept
- virginity is inherently heterocentric
- your worth is not defined by whether or not you’ve had a dick inside you
- what you define as sex is up to you, you get to decide how many people you’ve had sex with
- the end
Independent Lens, PBS
“Wonder Women! The Untold Story of American Superheroines” (via ihopeyoucontinue4ever)
It also means that 97 percent of how men are portrayed in media are decided on by men. Something to remind MRAs and their ilk of when they complain about the stereotype of men as inept slobs, bad fathers, etc in media and advertising.
Men have the power. So when we men are shat on by the powers that be you don’t get to try and blame women for that.